Our lives are lived both offline, and, these days, more online than ever before. This includes our relationships, friendships, and sexual expressions. Whether you are swiping right on dating apps or hanging out with someone in person, consent is always essential.
But how does consent work online? Is it different from "IRL" (in real life) situations? This post will explain how consent stays the same no matter where you are.
No matter the setting, consent should always be:
1. Freely Given
Consent must come without pressure, guilt-tripping, manipulation, or threats. A genuine “yes” means the person truly wants to say yes. There should be no feelings of being forced.
Both people should know exactly what they’re agreeing to. If someone isn’t sure what they’re saying yes to, it’s not consent. Being clear with your intentions is key here.
3. Reversible (can be temporary, and that's okay!)
Anyone can change their mind at any time. Just because someone said yes before doesn’t mean they’re locked in forever. This is true in person and online.
4. Specific
Agreeing to one thing (like a hug or a selfie) doesn’t mean agreeing to everything else. Consent is not a blanket approval. Consent must be obtained especially if there is a change in activity.
5. Clear and Enthusiastic
There’s no such thing as implied or assumed consent. Silence, hesitation, or “not saying no” is not the same as an enthusiastic yes. Body language and verbal communication are essential here.
What’s Different: Online Consent vs. In-Person Consent
While the core principles are the same, the way consent plays out can look different depending on the setting:
1. Body Language is Missing
In person, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language help clarify how someone feels. Online, you don’t have these cues, which means it’s easier for messages to be misunderstood. That’s why online consent needs to be extra clear and direct. Emojis might support clarity of messages.
2. Digital Actions Leave a Trail
Offline interactions typically aren’t recorded. But online, messages, photos, and videos can be screenshotted, saved, or shared without permission. This raises the stakes for privacy and trust.
3. Things Can Escalate Faster Online
In person, intimate or emotional situations often build gradually. Online, things like sexting or personal questions can come up very quickly, sometimes before trust is built. That makes it even more important to slow down and check in with the other person.
4. People Can Hide Behind Screens
Offline, you usually know who you're with. Online, someone might lie about their identity, age, or intentions. This makes it harder to give truly informed consent, especially in new or anonymous interactions. It is important to verify that someone is who they say they are before consenting to anything.
5. Manipulation Can Look Different
In-person pressure might come from someone standing over you or trying to guilt-trip you face-to-face. Online, it can take the form of emotional blackmail, repeated messages, or threats to leak private content. These are serious violations and are never okay.
Consent isn’t just a one-time question or a checkbox. It's an ongoing, respectful conversation. One where both people feel safe, informed, and in control of their choices.
Whether you're navigating consent in person or through a screen, remember: ask clearly, listen carefully, and respect always. In both worlds, everyone deserves to feel safe and respected.
